I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
