She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
