he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
