I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
