I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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