Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
