I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
