Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
