We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
