He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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