So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
