That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
