He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
