it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
