69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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