I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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