she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
