FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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