scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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