I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize