if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
