the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize