i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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