Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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