No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
