where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
