Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize