oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
