sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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