My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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