She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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