I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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