Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
