Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
