i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
