But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
