So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
