Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
