My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize