if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
