everyone is single if you try hard enough
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
