I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
