wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
