I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
