just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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