just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
