I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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