I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
