he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
