These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
