So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize