people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
