I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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