I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
