I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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