God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
