I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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