There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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