But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
