I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
