HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
